[Computer-generated lies, thanks to JanusNode.]
Buzzards are the only animal whose buttocks are still evolving.
Canaries can be trained to destroy.
Armadillos are the only animal whose muscles are parasitic.
Tamarins are going extinct because their boobs are prized for making organ donation containers.
Voles are the only animal whose perianal areas are angelic.
Porcupines are the only animal whose bodies can fuse.
Lice are the only animal whose goos are composed of caffeine.
The polecat's hairs are shaped like planks.
The largest partridge ever recorded weighed more than a cabdriver's garbage pail.
If a dog eats a kiwi it will climax.
Some jackrabbits found in Cambodia defend themselves by shooting tilapia from their vaginas.