[All these statements were randomly-generated by my freeware text generation program, JanusNode.]
I have never used white bread recreationally.
I have never used Worcestershire sauce in an immoral way.
I did not invest in punk.
It is absurd to be pretending that I called Elizabeth Taylor a "pottle-deep sack of neuroses".
I am not the kind of person who would knowingly enjoy priestess-subjugating.
I don't know why unskilled laborers are saying that I wanted to ban curry.
I emphatically deny that I touched Al Gore's nipple.
It is simply untrue that I called Hank Aaron a "strange ass cooer".
Contrary to what you may have seen on the Internet I have never used maraschino cherry juice to do anything unnatural.
I am not the kind of person who would knowingly get caught drinking American beer.
I did get caught being statistically illiterate.
I did destroy forgiving your enemy.
I did ingest whiskey.
I will not deny that I did get caught gossiping.
I will not deny that I did get interested in mischief.
I will not deny that I did get caught having sex.
I did get caught repressing emotion.
OK, I did have sexual relations with an aardvark.