Tuesday, 15 October 2013

On A Dozen New Episodes of 'Breaking Bad'

[All these synopses were randomly-generated by my freeware text generation program, JanusNode. Sorry, there are no more actual episodes of the fabulous TV show, Breaking Bad.]
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Lydia Rodarte-Quayle unexpectedly discovers that her old school buddy Jesus has just hired a new meth cook: Saul Goodman. At the same time, Hank Schrader has fallen in love with Badger. Sponsored by Ripley's 'Believe It Or Not'.
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Saul Goodman and Todd decide to blackmail Mike Ehrmantraut. Skinny Pete locks Mike Ehrmantraut into an organ donation container. Loosely based on the life of Bob Dylan.
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Steven Gomez and Marie Schrader meet in an airplane to discuss what to do about Gustavo Fring. Much to Walter White's surprise, Lydia Rodarte-Quayle hits Badger with a weapon carefully built using a piece of enamel screwed onto a piece of pine. Viewer discretion advised.
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Lydia Rodarte-Quayle unexpectedly discovers that her lover Ronnie has been accused of murdering Lydia Rodarte-Quayle. Meanwhile, some shady characters with federal government connections are asking questions about Lydia Rodarte-Quayle's income. Thanks to this masterful cast, the plot plays out better than it sounds.
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Walter White is surprised to learn that his old school buddy Otto is having sex with Skyler White. Meanwhile, Jesse Pinkman decides that it is necessary to kill Hank Schrader. Episode title: Exploding Heroine.
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Walter White, Junior and Walter White decide to start selling rosemary together. Much to Walter White's surprise, Lydia Rodarte-Quayle hits Steven Gomez with a weapon that Gretchen Schwartz has constructed using woven hair. Episode title: Culminating Synchronizing Pawn.
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Skyler White unexpectedly discovers that her colleague Cody has accidentally injured Marie Schrader. Meanwhile, Skyler White threatens Walter White's bottom. Gratuitous nudity adds little to this lacklustre work.
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Marie Schrader unexpectedly discovers that her lover Freddy is suing Skyler White. Meanwhile, Saul Goodman locks Mike Ehrmantraut into a canoe. Chaos ensues.
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In this surprising episode, Gretchen Schwartz and Marie Schrader decide to start selling crystal meth together. Much to Mike Ehrmantraut's surprise, Badger is planning to kill Todd. Episode title: Fen-sucked Swooning Dandelions.
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Marie Schrader unexpectedly discovers that her father-in-law Doyle has recently had drunken sex with Skyler White. At the same time, Badger starts studying genderization. Loosely based on the works of Oprah Winfrey.
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Gustavo Fring is surprised to learn that his mate Ernest already knows Skyler White. Much to Gustavo Fring's surprise, Gustavo Fring reluctantly decides that it is necessary to kill Gustavo Fring. Episode title: Stealing Dill.
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Skyler White is surprised to learn that her sweet lover Josh has a new meth cook: his eager neighbour, Sheree. Skyler White starts studying atheism. Great art direction.

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