On Some New Holiday Gift Ideas

My wife showed me one of those special Christmas catalogs that we receive at this time of year, listing crazy gift ideas that seem implausibly likely to ever sell. She suggested that JanusNode might be able to come up with some equally good products. I whipped up a quick 'Holiday Gift Idea' generator (to be included with the next release of JanusNode), and append herewith a few examples of the output. 

I gift these ideas to the world at large; feel free to develop them for your own profit.

Husband's Laser Pointer Boxer shorts 

Gourmet Garden Statue, made with real dried shark dung

Programmable Coffin with genuine antique finish

Touch-screen Playable Panties

Two-person Cummerbund-Bra & Knicker Set

Bird-watcher's Flashlight with Secret Soap Dispenser 

Glow-in-the-dark Ball Gown T-shirt with engraved initials 

Wind-up Scarf with battery backup 

Fiber-optic Remote-controlled Jeans/Underwear

Automatic Flying Kipper with silly voice 

Dishwasher-safe Slippers 

Unbreakable Baby's First Laser Pointer 

WiFi-enabled Mustard Dispenser 

Edible Lunch Container 

Japanese Toilet Paper Holder with secret Ferris wheel 

Speaking Bikini/Tracksuit

Crocodile skin USB-powered Socks

Remote-controlled Fish Dispenser

World's Smallest South American Biscuit Dish with engraved initials